Thursday, 22 March 2012

Pergi: Harapan ke syurga


Aku sudah berjanji pada diri sendiri, aku akan pergi. Pergi jauh-jauh sampai terkapai di awan biru yang aku tak pasti berapa tinggi langit tujuh lapisan nipis, tebal yang tidak ku tahu.
Itu asal usul permulaan yang pasti walau pengakhiran belum nyata.
Aku sedang berusaha walau tangan parah digilis lori 3 tan.
Mampukah?

Friday, 16 March 2012

Tidur

   
Baru aku rasa kepuasan nikmat tidur. Betul-betul rasa selepas 21 tahun hidup di muka bumi ini. Rasa nikmat tidur yang betul-betul nyenyak sampai rasa tak mahu jamah makanan, sampai rasa dunia luar hanya ilusi mimpi, komunikasi dengan manusia sia-sia. Tidur juga paling utanma.


Kenapa?

Sebab dua hari aku tak dapat tidur cukup. Hari pertama, tidur pukul 3 pagi lebih, dekat-dekat pukul 4. Konon-konon boleh hidup, esok qada'. Hampeh. Kerja tangguh memang gempak. Esok tidur lepas subuh. Kelas dari pukul 9am sampai 6.30 pm. Memang seronoklah. Ini baru aku rasa, makan tak kenyang, mandi tak basah. Aku rasa macam berada dalam kayangan. Air mandi sampai ke rambut pun rasa tak basah. Punyelah high.

Selalunya, tatkala kepala menghempas bantal sebab letih, minda masih putar-putar cari arah sampai mimpi macam-macam. Letih dalam perjalanan mimpi aku sahaja yang tahu. Susur jalan berliku, cincang ular nipis-nipis. Cuak. Sungguh cuak.

Biarkan sahaja yang telah berlalu. Katil macam sayup-sayup panggil aku. Tak cukup tidur lagi.
Lelap tanpa mimpi. Harapan yang belum pasti.
Adios. 


Cute letter

Comel je. No motif. Just found it somewhere :)

Saturday, 10 March 2012

A woman's du'a for her future husband ♥

O Allah! Please grant me the one
Who will be the garment for my soul
Who will satisfy half of my deen
... And in doing so make me whole

Make him righteous and on your path
In all he'll do and say
And sprinkle water on me at Fajr
Reminding me to pray

May he earn from halal sources
And spend within his means
May he seek Allah's guidance always
To fulfill all his dreams

May he always refer to Qur'an
and the Sunnah as his moral guide
May he thank and appreciate Allah
For the woman at his side

May he be conscious of his anger
And often fast and pray
Be charitable and sensitive
In every possible way

May he honor and protect me
And guide me in this life
And please Allah! Make me worthy
to be his loving wife

And finally, O Allah!
Make him abundant in love and laughter
In taqwa and sincerity
In striving for the hereafter!

May Allah grant all the Muslim sisters with such husbands... Ameen ya rab! :) ♥



credit to: Facebook

Sayup-sayup

          Sayup-sayup telinga menangkap bunyi merdu suara sang cengkerik yang sahut-bersahutan di balik suara dari corong radio Hot Fm 30. Hari ini, minda buntu, macam ada tersumbat sesuatu. Entahlah. Padahal kerja menggunung tapi, entahlah. Aku pun bingung dengan diri sendiri. Jasad ada di sini tapi rohani?? Entah mana-mana entah Kak Rohani ni pergi jalan-jalan. Dah la jalan sorang-sorang. Sampai hati tak bawa Jasad, sentap tau.

Sila abaikan entri monolog mengarut ini.
 Ada dua kotak cornflakes untuk hari-hari yang mendatang, bersyukur..

Friday, 2 March 2012

Hope

الإِنْسَانُ لاَ يَخْـلُو عَنِ الخَطَاءِ وَالنِّـسْيَانِ
Manusia itu tidak sunyi daripada membuat kesalahan dan lupa. (Hadith)

Oh Allah, separate me from my sins as You have separated the East from the West...

For sure, He never forget me
Never let me walk alone
  He is very close to me
Too close

 "It was We who created man, and We know what dark suggestions his souls makes to him: for We are nearer to him than (his) jugular vein"(Qaaf:16)

He always remind me when I forget
Enlighten me when I'm in darkness full of terror
When I stuck in black parade that engulfs me horribly

I'm scared like a little infant needs immediate aid
I have no one to hold on
I have no one to protect me
I shed a bloody tears
Nobody lend their hands
I'm scared...
I'm scared...


"And He found you lost, and guided [you]" (Ad-Dhuhaa:7)

He speaks to me through His words
Gives me lullaby as my sleep medicine
His bounties spread throughout the world
Shield His beloved from the disaster

I never qualified  to read Your kalam
I never qualified to hear Your ayah
I never qualified to see Your signs
because I know who I am
I am a sinner most abominable.

Never despair my dear self,

He misses your pleads in the darkness of the night
Under the dim light of the moon
Behind the veil of the city
Because you are far
Far away from Him

He wants you back
Hints after hints were given
Why can't you understand, my heart?


Never lose your hope, even once
Even when you feel the sins have reached the end of the sky though

"Say: O My servants who exceeded the limits of their own, do not despair of Allah's mercy. Verily, Allah forgives all sins. Verily He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (Surah Az-Zumar: 53)


Now I understand
Why He gives me chances to live until now
To repair my broken-heart inside
To replenish the moisture of  iman
To wash away sins with ice and water and frost

I still have Allah